Kimberly Dalferes | Author

Crazy, Southern, Irish Gal, Author

Therefore Be It Resolved

by

RESOLUTION WHEREAS Kimba usually dislikes New Year’s resolutions, but is willing to give it one more shot; and WHEREAS Kimba was pretty happy with how 2013 turned out and wants to hedge her bets for a stellar 2014; and WHEREAS Kimba is a Virgo, and this just seems to be a fancy way to make a to-do list; which is fine by her. http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/734782 NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that this crazy southern Irish gal – also known as Kimba – hereby: Vows to … [Read more...]

The Twins Are Not Identical

by

I’ve been lamenting for a while about my girls, my breasts, the twins. As I’ve reached Club Fifty status they seem to be in a race to see which can reach my knees first (righty is currently in the lead, but lefty is not far behind). No amount of exercise – bicep curls, chest presses, hammer lifts and the like – seems to affect their descent. I’ve become so frustrated that I’ve talked about the possibility of a surgical breast lift. One incredulous friend asked: “Why don’t you just try a … [Read more...]

Taking A Mulligan

by

I have a day job. Yep, as much as I love writing, I also have to pay the bills. I’m fortunate in that my current business allows me great flexibility as well as opportunities to meet and work with some truly interesting people. Working as a consultant sometimes also brings its share of a few surprises. Take for example this recent exchange with a potential client – let’s call him “Harry.” As Harry reviewed my resume he looked up from the paperwork and said; “Well, it looks like you’ve … [Read more...]

Have You Ever Faked It?

by

OK gals, fess up. You know you’ve done this, we’ve all done this. We may not talk about it, we may not admit it outside of our closest gal pals circles, but we HAVE ALL FAKED IT. I am, of course, talking about the not-so-homemade homemade dessert, appetizer, or full out dinner. Geez, where was your mind headed? http://cdn.morguefile.com/imageData/public/files/k/kahanaboy/preview/fldr_2008_11_28/file0001523605876.jpg Gals, it’s time to let ourselves off the hook. The holidays are … [Read more...]

Stray Dogs and Ugly Pumpkins

by

I love Fall. Cooler weather, colorful leaves, and the first fire in the fireplace all make me happy. One of my favorite fall rituals: local harvest festivals. I’m a sucker for bales of hay, tractor rides, and apple cider. Maybe it’s because I grew up in Florida where there are only two seasons: tourist and hurricane. At a local fall festival last weekend I was searching through the pumpkin patch, looking for the ugliest pumpkin I could find. My gal pal Kathi laughed at this – “Why the … [Read more...]

Verbal Cues and Vocal Frys: Oh Ma Gawd!

by

One of my favorite things to do on a Sunday morning is spread out the Washington Post on the coffee table, settle in with a good cup of joe, and watch CBS Sunday Morning. During a recent broadcast they discussed a relatively new phenomenon known as "The Vocal Fry" Being that French fries are my all-time favorite junk food, my interest was immediately piqued. Turned out to not be exactly what I had been expecting. It’s a little difficult to explain a vocal fry. It’s a guttural tapering off … [Read more...]

Smells Like Football!

by

When my son Jimmy was six years old, we were coming home one evening and as we stepped up onto the front stoop and I reached to unlock the front door, he looked up at me and said: “Mom, there are frogs in those bushes.” “Oh yeah,” I replied. “How do you know?” “Because I can smell them.”  His little beaming face was so excited; I do believe he really could smell those frogs. That kind of glee, that sheer joy of knowing that something exciting is right around the corner, is how I feel every … [Read more...]

Kimba’s Tip of the Day

by

I’m not a big fan of unsolicited advice. My propensity to spout off has often gotten me into trouble and pissed off my friends and family who get sick of my know-it-all tendencies. I work diligently to quiet the girl in my head who has a running dialogue in every conversation about how she can fix a particular problem or opine about any current political issue. If I could only adhere to some of the best advice my mama ever gave me: Opinions are like belly buttons. Everybody has one; doesn't … [Read more...]

How Do You Know She’s a Witch?

by

We have found a witch, may we burn her? How do you know she is a witch? She looks like one! “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” Hmm… what exactly does a witch look like? The sad truth is that by most estimates, up through the 1700s, 40,000 or more people were executed under suspicion of practicing witchcraft; based primarily upon their religious beliefs, independent or rebellious behaviors, and some interesting physical characteristics including… left-handedness. Being a … [Read more...]

Fifty is the New Fifty

by

Thanks to Geraldo Rivera's now infamous Too. Much. Information tweet-pic of his seventy-year-old naked torso – and he damn near showed us Christmas and ALL the presents – I’ve noticed quite a bit of conjecture by the media regarding age, aging, anti-aging, youth, beauty, and wrinkles. Under headlines such as “Is Seventy the New Fifty?” everyone seems to be professing new benchmarks such as forty is the new thirty or fifty is the new forty.   Here’s an idea – how about we all try this one on … [Read more...]