Kimberly Dalferes | Author

Crazy, Southern, Irish Gal, Author

Fifty is the New Fifty

by

Thanks to Geraldo Rivera’s now infamous Too. Much. Information tweet-pic of his seventy-year-old naked torso – and he damn near showed us Christmas and ALL the presents – I’ve noticed quite a bit of conjecture by the media regarding age, aging, anti-aging, youth, beauty, and wrinkles. Under headlines such as “Is Seventy the New Fifty?” everyone seems to be professing new benchmarks such as forty is the new thirty or fifty is the new forty.  

Here’s an idea – how about we all try this one on for size:

Fifty is the New FIFTY.

 Period.

Yep, I’m turning the Big 5-0 this week, happily joining “Club Fifty.” I’m DELIGHTED to be turning fifty! True, I would rather not be dealing with the injustices of menopause, but all decades bring challenges, obstacles, and joys:

  • My 20’s were a blur of attending and finishing college (a truly wonderful time in my life – GO NOLES!); landing my first real grown-up job; marriage; child birth – which brought to me a soul mate in my son Jimmy; and the purchasing of my first home.
  • My 30’s featured the downfall of divorce; single parenthood; a new wonderful independent life in D.C. – and with it an amazing career boost.
  • My 40’s offered a new marriage; seeing my son graduate from high school – and college (!); and writing and publishing I Was In Love With a Short Man Once.  
  • My 50’s – ?? Can’t wait!

One of the many facets of turning fifty, which I most appreciate, is that fifty brings perspective. At fifty I have arrived at the party. At fifty I have become comfortable in my own skin. Now don’t get me wrong – I always have room for improvement. But I find that as I enter this fifth decade I have now grown into my looks and my personality. I’m loud, I laugh at all the wrong parts of a movie, and I accept who I am. Fifty feels good; like a well-fitting red coat that looks perfect with the right pair of black boots.  

 

red coat ahd black boots

(Image Source: Flickr. Ianqui, “Red & Gold”) http://www.flickr.com/photos/ianqui/358733254/

I am enjoying, more than ever, relationships with my gal pals who are also dancing around, or fully ensconced in, Club Fifty status. In this past year I’ve discovered wonderful groups and terrific women – many of whom focus on addressing the needs and concerns of those of us who Suzanne Braun Levine calls “women in their second adulthood.” A few of my favorites include:

So, here we go gals. Won’t you join me in the middle-aged cheap seats? I guarantee a scenic view and a helluva ride.

Have you had a favorite decade? Do you think that age fifty for us is very different from the age of fifty for our parents?

Cheers,

Kimba

Comments

  1. Hi Kim, 

    I love the idea of looking at your life from the perspective of decades! I'm in my 30s, so who knows what the future holds, but so far, so good: 
    10-20 – dealing with and overcoming the loss of a parent, but also meeting hubby (a love at first sight)

    20-30- attending college & the MLA program, working at a horribly boring job, but then also beginning my PhD studies + traveling with hubby and teaching in together in Southeast Asia

    30s – getting my PhD, publishing a novel, helping my mom who's been struggling in many ways for the past few years, and now beginning to express myself and help others in my own business. 

    thank you for sharing your life's experiences. I really enjoyed reading your perspective. And HAPPY BDAY! 

  2. Having spent 2 1/2 years in this Fabulous 50 club, I can attest to the fact that it is the best decade of my life (so far!). Why everyone wants to go back in time and be 30 again (or whatever) makes no sense to me. Welcome to the club Kimba! I think you'll like it here!

  3. I thought the 50s were a great decade! Congratulations on arriving to what I think is true adulthood (that's the perspective you talk about). Interestingly, I think very fondly of my 50s even though the reality of the decade was very difficult – I had cancer, my parents and sister died (all at different times, so there was a tsunami of loss that kept recurring), I became responsible for other relatives' care. Yet I still remember the pleasure of feeling free to make choices and less burdened by others' expectations. So wecome, and enjoy! The 50s are indeed fabulous.

    • Love your attitude Judy – you seemed to have gone through a lot in your fifth decade and still have a wonderful perspective. You’re my new Club 50 guru – when is our next meeting?  😉

  4. This was fun Kimba, really refreshing, and I could relate to a lot of it, being 59! I'm going to hop over to a couple of those groups, thanks for the links.  Great post, Julie x

    http://www. trulymadlydeeplyhappy.com

     

  6. Happy Birthday Kimba! I am also going to be 50…Ahh! It's weird writing it…but I am totally OK. with it. I feel great in my skin as well…I think just like you and know that in a way the party has just begun. I'm so ready to embrace the clarity of 50. It feels crisp and sharp….LOL. Have a great B-Day party and enjoy all the wisdom that comes with it.

  7. This post was exactly what I needed to read today.  My birthday is in two days and I have been wrestling with the "what have I accomplished in the last year" drama.  I am a successful career woman, but have yet to find "the one", and while I am not dreaming of baby carriages and midnight feedings, I often feel like I haven't "arrived" yet, simply because I've skipped what so many of my friends have done already.  Thanks for giving me a little boost so that I stop criticizing myself and just enjoy the life I've carvedd out, a life that does have meaning.  Happy Birthday to you!!!

  8. I'm still growing, learning, exploring and enjoying in my fifties like I should have been in my 20's – late developer!! I pack so much in and am stilll developing – I'm not ready to join my parents in mindset, who haven't changed since their fifties. 

    Good to see the spirit in you yet Kimba 🙂

    Jacs

    • Jacs you may be a late developer, but you're making up for time! Your posts have saved me lots of time so please keep 'em coming!!

  9. I always love your posts Kim, this one included! I am turning 50 next year and laugh at all of the 40 is the new 30, then 40 is the new 20, and 50 is the new 30….on and on. I agree, just be who and where you are on the "age scale." 

    My philosoply – Have fun, keep your sense of humor, and never let age stop you from trying new things and dreaming new dreams! 

  11. And 30 is the new 30! Thanks for being so honest about life. There's a lot of pressure these days to look a certain way, achieve certain things, and all by the time you reach a certain age. It's so liberating to just say 'screw that' – this is me. Happy 50th Kim!

  12. I am in my 60's and find that I learn and grow all the time. In some ways I wish I had known some of this back when I was younger.

    I have never liked the saying that this is the new "50, 40 etc.. 

    We should enjoy what we are. No we look younger than our mom's did at this age, but we are still the age we are !

    • As Rod Stewart sang: I wish I knew what I know now; when I was younger. But it's all part of the journey, right? Thx for stopping by! 

  14. Hi Kim!

    Thanks for the shout out. I too am enjoying life more now than ever before. Each decade brings more wisdom, ore peace and more comfort in our own skin. When I moved into the 60's I remember thinking back to when my dad turned 60. He was not happy about it, and was not in good physical or mental shape.I am more fit now than I was in my 20's. We are most certainly a different generation – feels like many generations apart from our parents!

    I'm glad we are sitting in the middle aged cheap seats together and can't wait to see what else life brings!

    Best of Health,

    Kathi

  15. I definitely believe that the 50s of today is different from our mothers' 50s. Today age is really a state of mind. I left my 50s and am reaching towards the 70s in a couple of years. I don't feel that age or what I thought that age would be. I won a dance contest and IPOD in my 60s! That was a hoot!  Enjoy your time wherever you are.  Make it your own. 

    Julieanne Case
    Always from the heart!

     

    Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| Reconnective Art |

     

    http://thereconnectivehighway.com

     

  16.  Hi Kim,

    Thank you for the inspiration! I'm not happy about getting older, but I like being reminded that it can be a good thing 🙂

    ~Christina

  17. Kimbra – Welcome to the 50s.  I have always loved getting older…The past few years have been tough for me…but I'm stronger and am figuring it out.  Just got back from delivering Jackson – it never gets easier!!!  Miss you.

     

    • Lori, I love that our kids are out there in the world – even if it means we miss them terribly. I see good things for you chica – we need to talk soon ! 

  18. Kim, You almost make me wish I was turning 50.  I am still living in my mid 30s. Which I am loving and knowing that I have lots of life left.  You do give me some good "it's OK that you maybe don't have it all figured out yet" vibes though. So as unintentional as they maybe were – Thanks for the vibes!!

    • Kate, I did indeed think I would have much more figured out by 50. I guess the lesson is that you never get it all figured out. Enjoy your thirties – they are awesome! Can I give you just a little advice? Moisturize, and wear a really good bra! 😉 

  19. From 22-32 were awesome years. I graduated from FSU, got married, had babies and found my birth family. I also got established, (not rich), in my career by gaining good experience and confidance. After that point it was and continues to be a challenge to make ends meet financially, care for aging parents and deal w losses of in the generation ahead of mine.   In many ways, 50 for me is different than both my parents at 50-something. I'm in better physical condition than they were at the same age. I have more energy, can dance and ride roller-coasters!  I like to think that my relationship w my kids has been less confrontational and more comfortable than how my 50-year-old parents were with me. I'm looking forward to the rest of the 50 decade and into my 60s. I won't be retired, but I'm ready for grandkids, some travel, cool technology and filled with hope for medical advancements.

    • Hey Paige – GO NOLES! When did you graduate (I'm BS '85 and MS '87)? I know that I'm very lucky to come from great genes – both my parents are healthy, active and now into their seventies. Hope it gets better for you.

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  1. […] sound incredibly off, but I just finished writing about a blogger named Kim Dalferes who published a post on turning 50, and I have to say–I wish I was 50. Here’s why. And I […]

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