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Kimberly Dalferes | Author

Crazy, Southern, Irish Gal, Author

Hon, Do We Have Any Mustard?

January 13, 2017 by Kim Dalferes

HUBS: Hey Hon, we gotta get this frig under control.

ME: What do you mean?

HUBS: It’s a mess. Come on, I can’t even find the mustard.

ME: What? Nah. I clean it out every year.

HUBS: No way. I bet I can find something in here over a year old.

ME: I double dog dare you to find anything in that frig over a year old.

In the world of men, a double dog dare is non-negotiable. You just can’t throw that out there willy nilly. If you use it, ya better mean it.

Image provided courtesy of Pexel: https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-and-black-short-coat-puppy-on-black-window-car-134392/ under a CC0 license, free for commercial and personal use.

In the world of men, double dog dares are non-negotiable. Don't throw that out there willy nilly. Use it, ya better mean it. Click To Tweet

The Hubs tore into the frig with great gusto. I’ve never seen him so intent. Bottles flew past me on the way to the trash can. Tubs of old margarine, skunky beer, and nasty half-used bottles of marinade all removed and disposed of efficiently.

In the process we experienced a few moments of self-awareness, including the realization that we possess a bit of a hoarding issue when it comes to mustard…

Hon, do we have any mustard? Click To Tweet

Oh, and about that double dog dare. Turns out, the Hubs was right. He shouted and danced with glee when he discovered this gem in the way back, second shelf.

Yes, the Hubs was the victor. The king of this double dog dare. But here’s a little secret: take a look at the frig post clean-out.

You see, I am dumb, but I am not so dumb.

ME: Hey Hon, I bet you can’t find that NC State sweatshirt in the closet.

*WINK*

What’s the messiest place in your house?

What's the messiest place in your house? Click To Tweet

Cheer,

Kimba

Filed Under: The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats Tagged With: humor, I was in love with a short man once, Kim Dalferes, Kim Dalferes Author, Kimba Dalferes, Kimberly Dalferes, Magic Fishing Panties, marriage, middle-aged cheap seats, relationships, women, women writers

Comments

  1. Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

    January 16, 2017 at 9:19 pm

    You are brilliant. I need to try this little trick with my husband and our overcrowded pantry.

  2. Joyce Hansen says

    January 15, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    Good lord, we have the same husbands. All that he saves in the refrigerator is important and will be kept until it is needed. Right now, there’s not room to add one more thing.

  3. Suzie Cheel says

    January 14, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    I love this and I know that at the back of the cupboard and fridge- i am going to check today xx

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:03 am

      Oh, my pantry/cupboard is it’s own time capsule!

  4. Summer Price says

    January 14, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    Love it! Not so dumb at all ; ) My fridge isn’t terrible … my closet, however, is a different story!

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:13 am

      Oh, our closet is out of control. We gotta tackle that mountain soon!

  5. Anita Kaiser says

    January 14, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    OMG I love this post – thanks fro a great chuckle! I’ll be tryng out the double dog dare soon!

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:21 am

      Tee hee, let me know how the dare works out for you Anita.

  6. InspiredByMyMom says

    January 14, 2017 at 11:47 am

    LOVE IT!

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:28 am

      Thx chica! Remember to use the double dog dare for good, not evil. 🙂

  7. Diane says

    January 13, 2017 at 10:26 am

    Genius! Sheer genius! Why didn’t i think of that! Hmmm . . . now how to use the knowledge . . .

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:37 am

      Trust in the power of the double dog dare. Use it wisely my friend. 🙂

  8. renee says

    January 13, 2017 at 8:54 am

    Always let them think they are the “winner”…LOL

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:44 am

      But of course! Remember that scene in “Big Fat Greek Wedding” … “a man knows…” We are indeed not so dumb.

  9. Marquita Herald says

    January 13, 2017 at 8:37 am

    Ha! I KNEW that’s where you were going! My late grandmother-in-law had a real knack for this kind of thing. I loved that woman! My ex-husband hated handy work but she always managed to get him to do repairs or maintenance without him ever realizing he was being had. I recall this one time we were at her house and she masterfully manipulated him into mowing her lawn. As he turned to walk out the door to the garage she smiled and winked at me.

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:52 am

      Your late grandmother-in-law is my kinda gal! A well-placed wink is the best form of nonverbal communication.

  10. Vicki says

    January 13, 2017 at 8:23 am

    This started my day with a good laugh. Very clever to play dumb!

    • Kimba says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:54 am

      Here’s to a weekend full of chuckles for you!

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