When our children are born, we envision a life of molding and shaping these small, wonderful creatures into future Nobel Peace Prize winners, champion athletes, and brilliant philosophers. We will bestow upon them all our accumulated life experience and insights and they will be eager receptacles of our knowledge.
Yeah, and then day two arrives.
The thing is, no one ever tells you that your child will enter this world with a fully formed personality. It might take a while for you as the parent to figure it out, but eventually your beautiful little baby is going to mold you, teach you, and alter your perception of the universe. And, they’ll continue to do so well into adulthood.
Your beautiful baby is going to mold you, teach you, & alter your perception of the universe. Click To TweetNeed proof? I present to you, Exhibit A: the claw machine.
Claw machine, the wisdom oracle.
Not so long ago, circa 2001, I found myself at Saturday morning youth bowling. Ten year old son Jimmy had just finished his third game and as we were packing up to leave he inquired;
“Hey mom, can I have two quarters?”
“What for?”
“I’m gonna get one of the stuffed animals outta the claw machine.”
We all know that these glass encased machines, full of temptation and futility, are rigged. No one ever manages to pick up the colorful treasure, precariously dangle the object over all the other toys, swing the claw across the cube, and successfully deposit your prize into the drop box. Oh, you can get close, but there’s always that “Aww…” moment as you almost make it to the finish, but the claw somehow, without warning, loses its grip.
“Come on Hon, those things are a waste of money.”
“Pleeeese Mom? I saw one I know I can get.”
“Alright, but just this once, just to show you that no one ever wins with those machines.”
There it was, the “Mom moment.” Oh, you know the moment. That moment when words like these come out of your mouth:
“Don’t come running to me when your arm falls off.”
“Your face is going to freeze that way.”
“If you swallow that gum it will grow in your stomach.”
Mom Moment = when this comes out of your mouth: Don’t come running to me when your arm falls off. Click To TweetI reluctantly handed over the two quarters. He’ll just have to figure it out, I thought. He’ll be disappointed, but he’ll see that sometimes things are not as easy as they look.
A few minutes later Jimmy returned. What I expected was a pouty, “I hate it when you’re right,” ten-year-old. Instead, I was confronted by a grinning little boy carrying this:
When life gives you a crab, give him a home on the dashboard.
Yeah, mama ate a bit of crow that day. I also came face-to-face with the reality that our children are our best teachers.
So, here’s the thing: when I’m struggling to make a decision or I need advice, I know I can always rely on the claw for insight. The Wisdom of the Claw includes these gems:
- Kids are funny. They’ll teach you way more lessons than you’ll teach them.
- “I told you so” rarely works out.
- Life is full of unexpected surprises.
- Don’t be a know-it-all; it will bite you in the ass.
- Believe that all things are possible.
- It’s often better to be lucky than good.
- Never under-estimate your children.
In case you were wondering about that picture of the crab, it’s resting on the dashboard of my car. That’s where Jimmy deposited it back on the day he freed it from its glass prison. Mr. Crab has been perched under the front window ever since. The bright green color also helps me find the car in a parking lot; up here in the middle-aged cheap seats we tend to lose our vehicles, but that’s a whole other story. Isn’t it crazy that the thing hasn’t faded in over a decade?
What are some of the life lessons you’ve been taught by a child?
Cheers,
Kimba
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says
September 20, 2016 at 3:38 pmThose claw things actually work??? I never had that kind of luck, LOL. But I am VERY guilty of all the typical mom-isms, like the swallowing gum thing, etc. Guess I need to change my perspective while my granddaughter is still young.
Reba Linker says
September 18, 2016 at 2:03 pmWhat a fabulous, fun and wise post,Kimberly- especially: “Never under-estimate your children.” SO true! Just let ’em fly and try not to clip their wings! xo
Kimba says
September 19, 2016 at 11:47 amLet em fly, let em soar!
Jane says
September 17, 2016 at 3:40 pmNow every time I pass one of these claw machines I’ll think of Jimmy…and wonder if I could do it??? Thanks for that!
PS- Please don’t tell Trey most of my greatest lessons have come from him. We’re just about to pass the stage that he thinks I’m “wise” and enter the “OMG, you’re scaring me…should I start thinking about nursing homes” stage
Kimba says
September 19, 2016 at 11:57 amHow about the stage where you go from “I shouldn’t do that” to “screw it, let’s see what happens.” 🙂
Joyce Hansen says
September 17, 2016 at 3:36 pmSometimes, we just have to step aside and let kids teach us what we need to know. Thanks for sharing a wonderful family story, Kim.
Kimba says
September 19, 2016 at 12:05 pmThx for stopping by Joyce. I agree, ya just gotta get out their way and they’ll excel in ways you can’t even imagine.
Risa says
September 16, 2016 at 11:35 amMy son, my youngest child, taught me patience and humility over and over again. When he was in high school, he told us, “Never doubt me,” and although he had us tearing out our hair as papers were due and college deadlines loomed, he was true to his word. And has been ever since. And by the way, he used the claw to capture a little stuffed piece of candy corn that he still has (at age 30!). Loved your piece!
Kimba says
September 19, 2016 at 12:07 pmLOVE the image of that candy corn sitting on his desk or in some prized location in his home.
Beverley Golden says
September 16, 2016 at 9:55 amFabulous story and lesson about trusting the wisdom of our children. Children can be fearless and the thought that something is impossible, doesn’t seem to enter their minds. My daughter has always been much more daring and in the moment than I am. She rarely ‘thinks things through’ the way I do, sometimes it benefits her and sometimes it doesn’t. As I’m getting older, and hopefully wiser, I’m attempting to let go more and try on just showing up without knowing the predicted outcome. We’re never too old to try something different in our lives! Thanks for the great reminder Kimberly!
Kimba says
September 19, 2016 at 12:14 pmYeah, living in the moment is somehow lost in our midlife – like you I’m trying to get back to my 10 year old self. She was fearless!
Marquita Herald says
September 16, 2016 at 9:26 amLove it Kimba, and will now forever think of random life truisms as the Wisdom of the Claw. 🙂
Kim Dalferes says
September 16, 2016 at 9:37 amYes, another believer in the claw. My work here is done.
renee says
September 16, 2016 at 9:11 amKids can do this stuff because they have no doubt that they can’t do it… we have lost this trust over the years of life happening to us…
Kim Dalferes says
September 16, 2016 at 9:14 amYou’re so right. Believing you can is half the battle.
Vicki says
September 16, 2016 at 8:52 amExcellent way to start the morning. I truly believe your blog and have living proof that I learn every day from my beautiful author daughter. Good job!
Kim Dalferes says
September 16, 2016 at 9:09 amAw… thanks Mom! See you soon. I predict some serious thrifting excursions in your future. 🙂