• Home
  • About Kim
    • Author Bio
    • Author FAQs
    • Other Writing
  • Books
    • Book Club Discussion
  • Events
    • Beaches, Bathrooms, and Books
  • Blog
  • Press
    • Press Kits
  • Contact Kim
  • Bloglovin
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Kimberly Dalferes | Author

Crazy, Southern, Irish Gal, Author

Can You Judge a Gal By Her Pyrex?

June 6, 2016 by Kim Dalferes

Imagine if you will, a standing freezer, an appliance you’ve coveted for years but just couldn’t afford. Now envision your glee when a used, yet still well-functioning, keeper of all things frozen comes available at a neighbor’s garage sale. Score! Majorly awesome find for just $30. The only catch is that the contents are being donated to the local church for a Sunday school project and you will need to wait until the volunteer parishioners come to clean out said freezer in the next week. Seems like a more than fair proposition. Until…

Three weeks later your newly acquired freezer has still not been emptied. You begin to get that hinky, something might be amiss, feeling. Finally, you take it upon yourself to loosen the packing tape sealing the door shut in order to take a look inside. As the door slowly creaks open, you carefully peer around the edge and into the white inner space. You expect to find this:

standing freezer

Image provided courtesy of MorgueFile, http://morguefile.com/search/morguefile/1/freezer/pop

Instead, to your shock and horror, the first thing you see is a foot… a friggin human foot!

This is not the plot for the latest horror flick, my friends. It is instead a genuine, true life story: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/north-carolina-woman-finds-body-inside-30-yard-sale-freezer-n584426 You really can’t make this stuff up. I was more than a little relieved to discover that this grizzly tale happened in North Carolina, not Florida. For once my crazed home state was not the epicenter of yet another tragic truth-is-stranger-than-fiction ordeal.

As a self-ordained estate sale junkie, these kinds of stories become the stuff of legends. You wonder: what went down that caused someone to believe that putting a body in a freezer seemed like a good idea? What else lurks in the cabinets and closets of the house? What kind of person puts a body in a freezer? It also got me to thinking: if circumstances required the need for my house to suddenly have to be cleared out via an estate sale, what would people surmise from my belongings?

Hmmm with text

Image provided courtesy of Flickr Commons, https://goo.gl/66pEFj. No known copyright restrictions.

Based upon a quick perusal of my abode, I believe the following assumptions and conclusions could be made about me, none of which would necessarily be true.

I’m an interior decorator. In every room of my house there are one or more shelter magazines resting on a nightstand, desk, or within a tasteful basket next to the john. Who can resist the pretty covers and come hither titles?

magazines with text

I’m a master chef. Only someone of extraordinary culinary talent could have amassed so many cookbooks, pots, pans, gadgets, oils, knives, etc.

cooking with text

I’m my grandmother. Surely it would have taken a lifetime to accumulate such a massive collection of Pyrex.

pyrex with text

What would your belongings reveal about you? Would these revelations be accurate?

Cheers,

Kimba

PS: It’s here! Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle is now available for Kindle, https://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Southern-Irish-Girl-Bundle-ebook/dp/B01GTVXDNO

Just in time for your summer reading fun!

 

Filed Under: The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats Tagged With: blog, body in freezer, Estate sales, humor, I was in love with a short man once, Kim Dalferes, Kim Dalferes Author, Kimberly Dalferes, Magic Fishing Panties, middle-aged cheap seats, pyrex, southern gal

Comments

  1. Pam says

    June 14, 2016 at 8:50 pm

    Great read and I too, saw the story about the body in the freezer. Can you imagine? As to what someone would say about me upon entering my home? This is going to make me think. And then make me change things around so they say what I want them too. I better get rid of the chocolate soon.

  2. Joyce Hansen says

    June 13, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    As I sit at my desk and look around the room as a first-time visitor to my house would, they would be confronted by an extensive collection of Holstein cows, Stuffed and ceramic ones, just to clarify. Don’t envy anyone having to settle my estate. Maybe I’ll be able to find homes for each of them before I depart. Now, that would be an interesting end-of-life project.

  3. Teresa Salhi says

    June 10, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    That was a fun read. I do think about what I may be leaving and lurking behind…I even done some clean up with that thought in mind. Once we think it, we have to do it – never is, well too late. Thanks for the delightful read.

  4. Summer Price says

    June 10, 2016 at 5:46 pm

    😀 What a fun article, I also thought it had happened to you but I love how you turned this into a playful post. That is absolutely crazy about the foot!

  5. Diane says

    June 7, 2016 at 10:45 am

    Gasp. Sounds like the plot for a ‘Bones’ episode! Wait. I think it was the plot for a ‘Bones’ episode! Hmm . . . what would my abode say about me?
    1. I love books. (A bookcase in every room is my battle cry!)
    2. I love TV. (A TV in every room, ditto.)
    3. I spend an inordinate amount of time seated in my office chair. (Can they tell that from looking at a chair?)
    4. Dust is a protective covering for furniture. (This speaks for itself.)
    5. I love my grandkids. (I haven’t seen the front of my refrigerator since I got my refrigerator.)

  6. Kate Mayer says

    June 7, 2016 at 9:04 am

    I’m not as afraid of what they find in my cabinets, than what they’ll find in my browser history!! So very glad this freezer was not a treasure chest/coffin of your own discovery … i thought for sure it was!

  7. Parri says

    June 7, 2016 at 8:40 am

    My immense collection of signed Broadway posters would give me away immediately!

  8. Bren Pace says

    June 6, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    LOL OMG, you had me with the foot! Eeek! I actually thought it was going to be stuffed full of rotten food. Bleh! Oh the odor!

    I haven’t really thought about what my material things would say about be, but I’m sure the first word that would come to mind is: humble.

    Great post!

  9. Rena McDaniel says

    June 6, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    I have never really thought of this, now i want to get a lock box or something and bury the key.

  10. Haralee says

    June 6, 2016 at 11:30 am

    No body parts in my freezer, of humans. Our neighbor who hunts and fish and gives us his bounty asked if we could put in some antlers once but hey, I didn’t die before he collected them. Old Pyrex bowls, they are wonderful.

  11. Carla says

    June 6, 2016 at 10:04 am

    Hmmmm.
    I am a tremendous fan of skulls skeletons and day of the dead art/paintings.
    I’m completely uncertain what people would assume about me from looking at these – –but sure 🙂 they’d probably be correct…

Hello!

Author photo #2 in colorI hope you enjoy your time here and that you come back often. Wondering what makes me tick? This favorite quote from one of the grand dames of writing, Erma Bombeck, might help: Hook 'em with the lead. Hold 'em with laughter. Exit with a quip they won't forget. This seems to be a good overall life goal, don’t you think?

Hello!

Author photo #2 in colorWelcome to The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats,  the blog of Kimba Dalferes: slayer of king salmon, estate sale junkie, sometimes writes books.
Read More...

Beaches, Bathrooms, and Books!

What kind of bum are you: beach or bowl?

Sahar bathroom picKimba’s books have been called both “beach reads” and “bathroom reads.” She prefers beach reads, but hey, if the size 11 shoe fits…Read More...

Kim Dalferes’ Latest Book…

Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle

Humor writer Kimberly “Kimba” Dalferes dishes on a wide variety of topics–from days of her youth spent blissfully on the shores of Florida’s beaches to menopause and empty nests–in her nonfiction collection Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle. In both titles: I Was In Love With a Short Man Once and Magic Fishing Panties, Dalferes’ crazy Southern Irish gal perspective inspires her illustrations of life’s quirky twists and turns. Together, these books offer descriptive and colorful essays on subjects such as getting a tattoo in midlife, unique uses for kitty litter, handling a rabid bat, public speaking gone wrong, and naked hot-tubbing in Vegas. Dalferes skillfully weaves what at first glance may appear to be dissimilar themes into a tapestry that invokes her life’s motto: live out loud, laugh often, and ‘occasionally’ drink tequila. Now available through Amazon Kindle.

Search

Upcoming Events

There are no events to display

Author Hangouts

Beaches Bathroom Books Header sm
logo for A.Lbadge-ba50-final bombeck-writers-workshop lakerMagazineMasthead VWC-Logo-Master---97-years badge

The Archive


Goodreads reviews for I Was in Love with a Short Man Once

Reviews from Goodreads.com

Random Kimba Musings

Upcoming Events

"Bringing Your Book to the World: Book Launches, Signings, and Publicity", 2017 Virginia Writers Club Symposium, Charlottesville, VA, Saturday, August 5, 2017 http://www.virginiawritersclub.org/event-2484727

MORE INFO COMING SOON - Bridgewater Plaza Fall Festival, Saturday, October 14, 2017, Moneta, VA

"What's Creative About Nonfiction?", Reston Regional Library, Fairfax, VA, Monday, November 13, 2017, 7:00 p.m. http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/library/branches/rr/

  • Bloglovin
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2023 Kimberly Dalferes · Customized by Elaine Griffin Designs · Built on the Genesis Framework