Imagine if you will, a standing freezer, an appliance you’ve coveted for years but just couldn’t afford. Now envision your glee when a used, yet still well-functioning, keeper of all things frozen comes available at a neighbor’s garage sale. Score! Majorly awesome find for just $30. The only catch is that the contents are being donated to the local church for a Sunday school project and you will need to wait until the volunteer parishioners come to clean out said freezer in the next week. Seems like a more than fair proposition. Until…
Three weeks later your newly acquired freezer has still not been emptied. You begin to get that hinky, something might be amiss, feeling. Finally, you take it upon yourself to loosen the packing tape sealing the door shut in order to take a look inside. As the door slowly creaks open, you carefully peer around the edge and into the white inner space. You expect to find this:
Image provided courtesy of MorgueFile, http://morguefile.com/search/morguefile/1/freezer/pop
Instead, to your shock and horror, the first thing you see is a foot… a friggin human foot!
This is not the plot for the latest horror flick, my friends. It is instead a genuine, true life story: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/north-carolina-woman-finds-body-inside-30-yard-sale-freezer-n584426 You really can’t make this stuff up. I was more than a little relieved to discover that this grizzly tale happened in North Carolina, not Florida. For once my crazed home state was not the epicenter of yet another tragic truth-is-stranger-than-fiction ordeal.
As a self-ordained estate sale junkie, these kinds of stories become the stuff of legends. You wonder: what went down that caused someone to believe that putting a body in a freezer seemed like a good idea? What else lurks in the cabinets and closets of the house? What kind of person puts a body in a freezer? It also got me to thinking: if circumstances required the need for my house to suddenly have to be cleared out via an estate sale, what would people surmise from my belongings?
Image provided courtesy of Flickr Commons, https://goo.gl/66pEFj. No known copyright restrictions.
Based upon a quick perusal of my abode, I believe the following assumptions and conclusions could be made about me, none of which would necessarily be true.
I’m an interior decorator. In every room of my house there are one or more shelter magazines resting on a nightstand, desk, or within a tasteful basket next to the john. Who can resist the pretty covers and come hither titles?
I’m a master chef. Only someone of extraordinary culinary talent could have amassed so many cookbooks, pots, pans, gadgets, oils, knives, etc.
I’m my grandmother. Surely it would have taken a lifetime to accumulate such a massive collection of Pyrex.
What would your belongings reveal about you? Would these revelations be accurate?
Cheers,
Kimba
PS: It’s here! Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle is now available for Kindle, https://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Southern-Irish-Girl-Bundle-ebook/dp/B01GTVXDNO
Pam says
June 14, 2016 at 8:50 pmGreat read and I too, saw the story about the body in the freezer. Can you imagine? As to what someone would say about me upon entering my home? This is going to make me think. And then make me change things around so they say what I want them too. I better get rid of the chocolate soon.
Joyce Hansen says
June 13, 2016 at 9:58 pmAs I sit at my desk and look around the room as a first-time visitor to my house would, they would be confronted by an extensive collection of Holstein cows, Stuffed and ceramic ones, just to clarify. Don’t envy anyone having to settle my estate. Maybe I’ll be able to find homes for each of them before I depart. Now, that would be an interesting end-of-life project.
Teresa Salhi says
June 10, 2016 at 6:57 pmThat was a fun read. I do think about what I may be leaving and lurking behind…I even done some clean up with that thought in mind. Once we think it, we have to do it – never is, well too late. Thanks for the delightful read.
Summer Price says
June 10, 2016 at 5:46 pm😀 What a fun article, I also thought it had happened to you but I love how you turned this into a playful post. That is absolutely crazy about the foot!
Diane says
June 7, 2016 at 10:45 amGasp. Sounds like the plot for a ‘Bones’ episode! Wait. I think it was the plot for a ‘Bones’ episode! Hmm . . . what would my abode say about me?
1. I love books. (A bookcase in every room is my battle cry!)
2. I love TV. (A TV in every room, ditto.)
3. I spend an inordinate amount of time seated in my office chair. (Can they tell that from looking at a chair?)
4. Dust is a protective covering for furniture. (This speaks for itself.)
5. I love my grandkids. (I haven’t seen the front of my refrigerator since I got my refrigerator.)
Kate Mayer says
June 7, 2016 at 9:04 amI’m not as afraid of what they find in my cabinets, than what they’ll find in my browser history!! So very glad this freezer was not a treasure chest/coffin of your own discovery … i thought for sure it was!
Parri says
June 7, 2016 at 8:40 amMy immense collection of signed Broadway posters would give me away immediately!
Bren Pace says
June 6, 2016 at 5:54 pmLOL OMG, you had me with the foot! Eeek! I actually thought it was going to be stuffed full of rotten food. Bleh! Oh the odor!
I haven’t really thought about what my material things would say about be, but I’m sure the first word that would come to mind is: humble.
Great post!
Rena McDaniel says
June 6, 2016 at 1:21 pmI have never really thought of this, now i want to get a lock box or something and bury the key.
Haralee says
June 6, 2016 at 11:30 amNo body parts in my freezer, of humans. Our neighbor who hunts and fish and gives us his bounty asked if we could put in some antlers once but hey, I didn’t die before he collected them. Old Pyrex bowls, they are wonderful.
Carla says
June 6, 2016 at 10:04 amHmmmm.
I am a tremendous fan of skulls skeletons and day of the dead art/paintings.
I’m completely uncertain what people would assume about me from looking at these – –but sure 🙂 they’d probably be correct…