Last week I attended one of my favorite charity events: The 47th Annual Patrons’ Show Fundraiser for The Art League. The Art League is a wonderful charitable non-profit organization whose mission is to develop the artist through education, exhibition, and a stimulating, supportive environment, while sharing the experience of the visual arts with the community.
Courtesy of the Art League
I love the design of the Patrons’ Show; it seems very democratic. Almost 700 people purchase tickets. The same number of pieces of art are donated. The names of everyone who purchases a ticket go into a bin, and when your name is drawn you pick a piece of art. If your name gets pulled first – you get to pick ANY of the donated works. Get picked toward the end, you’re left to choose from the art that has not yet been selected. It’s thrilling and fun, with food and drinks mixed in.
Here’s the beauty we brought home this year:
Artic Vessel by Alison Sigethy
By the way, we picked around #400… whew!
Why do I really like this event? The prep. You have to be kinda organized and really prioritize your picks; requiring some dedicated time to view and rank the art. This is where the sociologist observer in me kicks in.
Many people, my hubby and me included, purchase just one ticket. This requires a bit of collaboration and compromise regarding our choices. As we toured the gallery the week before the auction, I watched other couples and noted how they communicated. You can tell a lot – A LOT – by how this goes down.
The cranky couple that bossed each other around, called veto on certain pieces, and seemed really stressed out by the process – not a happy couple. On the flip side, I watched a young couple with their six month old baby strolling through the gallery, laughing and letting their baby choose the pieces that would be on the top of their list. They were having a blast. I wish I knew if they managed to get what looked to be their top pick: a fun glossy photo of Oreos and milk! This was a couple that I’m betting will happily make it through the long haul.
This has me thinking about relationships, like mine with my hubby, that have made it past a decade or more (we’re approaching 17 years together). We’re a very different couple participating in this 47th Patrons’ Show, compared to our younger selves. Oh, I’ll always want to get one of the top art picks on our list. However, I’m now humored by my hubby’s need to feel the burn, ranking and re-ranking our top choices, creating intricate lists to sort and re-sort. It’s just the way he’s wired. And don’t you know he wanted that Oreo photo! It was on our list – OK, near the bottom of our list. But a decade ago I would have said flat-out Oh, hellz no.
Maybe the key to good relationships is knowing that your spouse’s little annoying habits and quirky tendencies are just that: little. I’ve got my share of oddities too: when I make the bed the pillowcase openings have to face out – everyone does this, right? ?
To be honest, I don’t always roll with the punches; last week I was traveling and hubby re-packed my car…. he wasn’t traveling with me…. he just didn’t like the way the car was packed. I may not have been particularly gracious about his assistance. We can joke about it now and that’s what’s truly important. He happens to be an excellent car packer, dammit.
I guess it’s all in how you choose: your spouse, your battles, your artwork. Choose wisely my friends.
How about you? Do you have tics, quirks, perhaps habits that may be annoying but the people in your life have chosen to accept/tolerate/appreciate?
doudoune canada goose saysMarch 5, 2014 at 9:39 pm
Ƅookmɑrked!!, I love your site!
Marti saysFebruary 27, 2014 at 2:11 pm
Everybody k n o w s that the toilet paper roll goes on so the paper comes out from under the roll, right? But not my one true love. So we use the "over" set up. He's not crazy about our piece from the patron show, but he humored me and we put it on the wall. It's all about the give and take…
Kim Dalferes saysMarch 4, 2014 at 8:50 am
Hey Marti, I love your piece! I bet it looks awesome over the fish tank. Funny, I just don't care about the over/under controversy, but a lot of couples seem to have split opinions on the subject.
Delmy saysFebruary 27, 2014 at 9:18 am
What an inspiring post dear Kimba. I love how you describe the appreciation of art as a way of resembling our personalities and how it can be applied to a healthy relationship. WOW 🙂 Just like in art, it is the little details that make each piece of art unique! As for the habits of mine, I think I need a lot of space to write on . . .
Kimba saysFebruary 27, 2014 at 1:02 pm
Haha Delmy, I bet your list is shorter than you think. Let's try to re-schedule lunch when the weather turns warmer!
Haralee saysFebruary 24, 2014 at 1:23 pm
I like new and different ideas for fund raising!
Kimba saysFebruary 27, 2014 at 1:03 pm
This is a fundraiser that everyone loves. Sells out every year, great group of volunteers.
Helene Cohen Bludman saysFebruary 24, 2014 at 9:51 am
What a great idea for an event! I wish i could find one like it where I live. I would really enjoy it — and I think my husband would, too.
Kimba saysFebruary 24, 2014 at 9:55 am
Helene, it's a great fundraiser and very successful, been going on for almost 50 years. Come on over to VA and join us – we put together a great bunch every year.
Kathy Radigan saysFebruary 24, 2014 at 9:43 am
What a fun even!! That sounds great!! I was laughing while I read how your husband handles the auction because that is exatcly how my husband would be too. And it does entertain me. I have also learned to see his need to reorganizing me as his way of showing love, but it has taken me time to get to that point.
Kimba saysFebruary 24, 2014 at 9:51 am
I agree, it is their way of showing love … even if it can drive you a little nuts!
Jennifer Sanders saysFebruary 23, 2014 at 10:09 am
Fun art show, glad you had a good time 🙂 my fiancé and I have different approaches eg I like to cook with a plan and recipe in mind otherwise I'm lost whereas he can throw it all together easily from just what's in the fridge! But I'm sure he appreciates my planning and methodical approach to life when it comes to other things like housework as I love washing and am always doing a load, and I can't stand other people doing it differently to how I like it!
Kimba saysFebruary 24, 2014 at 9:24 am
Sounds like you have a nice little system worked out! If you're ever inclined please come on over and help with my laundry – it seems to grow akin to Little Shop of Horrors – feed me Seymour!!
Greg saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 12:01 pm
She's right….the Patron Show is a blast and a great cause. Been doing it for decades and it's stil fun !
But next year, I will use my new and improved, extra special, made to reconcile a couple's two different grades Excel spreadsheet. Tech will rule !
Susan Wright-Boucher saysFebruary 21, 2014 at 6:21 pm
I love that you made this about relationships and the different ways couples communicate. Hubs and I would have had our heads close together, whispering through a strategy that would have been updated and morphed with each vanishing selection. I guess I have a few quirks. I absolutely cannot stand to step on water in my bare feet when I walk into the kitchen or bath. I know how petty that is. But that's what quirks are, right? Stupid little things we do. Thanks for another entertaining and eye opening post.
Kimba saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 9:59 am
Hi Susan – avoidng stepping in water; well that justs seems like a good safety tip!
Cheryl saysFebruary 21, 2014 at 3:08 pm
An awesome event for sure! I love how you wrote your blog centering on how the couples choose their pieces. This was our 4th year attending the Patron's Show and we love it! We actually get two tickets – a great way to build up artwork for the house and to help the community all at the same time. Why 2 tickets? Because our walls in our home have been barren for quite some time. 🙂 Even with buying two tickets, we still have to agree on most of the pieces we select. It is a fun process for us as we get a little more insight to each other's tastes in artwork. It is amazing how many pieces we can agree on too! Oreos & Milk were on our list as well as the rubber ducky photo! They made us smile.
Quirks – well there are plenty of those but like a couple of previous responders, we usually talk about it and laugh our way through it. We will be married 26 years the end of this month!! Hard to believe. Communication is a big factor in our relationship and has helped us through many crazy situations – good and bad.
I laughed at the pillow cases because I like the opened ends facing inwards. I'm also picky about the dirty dishes; especially when the kitchen is cleaned up and hubby walks through and lays a dirty dish or glass in the sink — just put in the dishwasher…. Seesh! 🙂 I think the thing that probably drives me the craziest is when hubby takes his socks and leaves them where he sits every night. After a few days we have a pile of dirty socks sitting in the livingroom because I refuse to pick them up. And of course he continues the behavior just for the reaction he gets from me. He thinks he is funny…. Well he is most of the time but I don't tell him that. 😉 We won't even go into my quirks that I know drive him crazy. Oh and Carol is right, picking your battles is important because the small stuff is just not worth it. Live long and happy together!
Kimba saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 10:05 am
Rubber Ducky on our list too! Would have been great in the guest bathroom. Would love to know what you ended up selecting this year. Congrats on 26 years married!
Lorii Abela saysFebruary 21, 2014 at 1:12 pm
Woah! Art is really beautiful indeed. And this event is unique, first time i've seen this. Thanks for sharing. Very interesting.
Kimba saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 10:06 am
Hi Lorri – don't know if you're in the DC area, but if so you should definitely try the Patron Show next year; come sit with us!
Kate Lindsay saysFebruary 21, 2014 at 11:42 am
I LOVE that art auction idea. How fun!! I would love to be involoved in something like that.
Quirks – I have a few. I didn't even think about the pillow cases. Is that a quirk??? I totally do that. I have never even given it a second thought – its just how they go.
Myself – I can't stand dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter. Especially if the dish washer is not full. My handsome man, puts a glass by the sink (he has to walk 4 steps past the dishwasher to get to the sink) or he puts his dishes on the counter right above the dishwasher. Hmmmm the funniest part to me is that when his kids are here for dinner he puts everything away and has them do the same. But when they aren't around to see….. he's one of them 🙂
We laugh about it together though, each with our ingrained ideas about where dishes go. And if that's a sign of a lasting relationship then that makes me feel good.
Kimba saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 10:11 am
OK, honestly, what's the deal with dirty dishes in the sink?! Makes me go bat crap crazy. I don't count that as an endearing quirk, that's just men really working to piss us off.
Diane saysFebruary 21, 2014 at 10:41 am
What a wonderful idea! We have nothing like that here, though we are blessed with many, many artists. I think I will mention it! And wonderful, too to be able to use the activity to study relationships. I'm always people watching. (In a totally ono-stalker sense . . .)
And my Husby calls them my adorable quirks.
P.S. I do that with pillow cases, too!
Kimba saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 10:24 am
I am loving all the "opening of the pillowcase faces out" solidarity. I am sure the folks at the Art League would be happy to discuss the event with anyone who is interested in organizing a similiar event.
Beverly Monical saysFebruary 21, 2014 at 10:30 am
This sounded like fun.I have never heard of an event like this one. Yes you are so right about couples and how they treat each other.No one is perfect and I know I appreciate my husband's patients with my faults. Thanks for sharing.
Kimba saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 10:29 am
Hi Bev. Yeah, every day I'm thankful that the Hubs loves me quirks and all.
Carol Cassara saysFebruary 21, 2014 at 10:19 am
"Pick your battles" is still some of the best relationship advice you can get. Or give!
Kimba saysFebruary 22, 2014 at 10:32 am
I agree! Well, I would also add pick someone who makes you laugh.