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Kimberly Dalferes | Author

Crazy, Southern, Irish Gal, Author

Know Your Audience: Stellar Advice or Sexist BS?

May 17, 2013 by Kim Dalferes

Awhile back I was having coffee with a fellow who I consider to be one of my writing and networking mentors. We were discussing this past year, my book, and the future of this blog. As we were sipping our lattes and talking about our latest projects, he noted that he admired how I’ve been able to really drill down to my target audience: women; of a certain age; who like to laugh and share their wisdom.

I agreed and noted how much I was enjoying this creative work. I shared that I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how enthusiastically my readers often comment and share their experiences.

“So,” he noted, “now it becomes easy – just focus your writing on subjects that your audience cares about; you know, like shopping… and kids…”

Right…. Wait… WHAT?!  

angry samuel l jackson

Oh, he most definitely saw my hackles go up.

He continued, “Now before you go all ‘I’m a Sexist Pig’ on me, I’m just saying: knowing your audience is a GOOD thing. You need to pay attention to topics and issues that they care about. If you write about sports, or beer brands, you are going to lose them.”

Oh, HELL NO, I thought.

After I simmered down a bit, I attempted to rationally consider his advice. Do women truly only care about “girly stuff?” I do take sincere and sage writing advice to heart – this was certainly not the first time I had heard the “know your audience” mantra. For example, here is a link to a very good article by Dan Blank, published by “Writer Unboxed,” that speaks to the importance of connecting with to your audience:  http://writerunboxed.com/2012/08/24/do-you-know-who-your-audience-is-no-really-do-you/ 

However, I became a little hung up on the idea that women could be pigeon-holed as a demographic that only cares about certain things; stereotypical things – such as make-up or weight loss. So, I decided to conduct a little experiment. And you were all participants… surprise!

mad scientist #2

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaptainkobold/257491210/

Over this past month I posted two blog entries: one focused on a topic that most would consider masculine – automobiles; and one that was more centric to traditionally feminine preferences – shopping. How did I select these topics? Pretty much ROMA (right out of my …). For the record, this whole experiment was about the least scientific you’ll ever come across – so don’t split hairs with me regarding my methods; I wasn’t going for a Nobel Prize in science here.

  • On April 5th my blog post, What’s Your Car Avatar?, focused on our attachments to our automobiles. Now I know, I could have been much more intentional and focused on, for example, the mechanics of a combustible engine – but I had to keep the post at least within a reasonable radius of a topic I could actually write about. According to Google Analytics, when compared to the previous blog post (which had focused on spring cleaning) the visits to the blog had decreased by 20%. Whoa, I had to admit that’s a pretty hefty decline.
  • Next, on April 19th, my post SHOP.DOT.KIMBA focused on online shopping –a topic I envisioned to be a more stereotypical interest for women. And, guess what – my blog visits decreased again! Down another 5%!!    

What can I conclude from this – practically nothing. Last week’s post – I Blinked – received visits equal to and almost surpassing those experienced back in March. Honestly, there are just too many variables to account for: quality of the writing of each column (ahem [clears throat]); where the various posts may have been shared; other news of the day that folks found more interesting – i.e. was it a slow news day? –  Etc.

What I do know is that I’ll continue to write with my audience – yes my female, middle-aged, wise-ass audience – in mind. However, I don’t want for us, as a demographic, to be predictable. Let’s challenge a few of those perceptions about us, OK? Anyone want to join me on my next salmon fishing trip… um, I’m quite serious….

How about you: do you think that women are only concerned about particular issues? Are we different from our male counterparts in terms of what we care about?

Cheers,

Kimba

Filed Under: The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats Tagged With: amazon best sellers, blog, I was in love with a short man once, Kim Dalferes, Kim Dalferes Author, Kimba, Kimberly Dalferes, know your audience, middle-aged, middle-aged cheap seats, sexism, women, women's issues, writer unboxed, writers

Comments

  1. Suzie Cheel says

    May 17, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    I would love to come salmon fishing with you:)

    I love how you write too and when we write from our heart about topics that we love and are special to us we convey that to the reader- seems to me you have been given clarity

    love

    Suzie xx

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 9:37 pm

      Thx Suzie – yep, pretty darn clear indeed!  🙂

  2. Kate Lindsay says

    May 17, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    Well I kinda think its been said. Be damed the topic list, write from that place inside of you, whereever that is pointing you each week.  I admit to being a bit younger than middle age and perhaps not your exact target. So from the edge may I also just say that its your energetic style combined with the giant variety of topics that make your blog one that I look forward to. 

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 3:40 pm

      Thx Kate!! I always smile when I see comments from you because it reminds me that I shouldn't stereotype my readers –  you are SO my  "target" –  bright women of ANY age are my target! 

  3. Julieanne Case says

    May 17, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    That would have gotten my hackles up too.  As to salmon fishing, I watched Salmon Fishing in the Yemen and loved it.  And I love wild salmon. I haven't been reading many blogs lately but I love all topics. I named my first car but not the subsequent ones.  I would be bored with shopping blogs and hate weight loss and makeup blogs.  But I have a strong masculine side. I do love spiritual, funny, thought provoking and healing blogs ( especially since I've written many of these types! Duh!).  I may not have been so cool with your mentor. I may have clobbered him!

     

    Julieanne Case
    Always from the heart!

     

    Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| Reconnective Art |

     

    http://thereconnectivehighway.com

  4. marquita herald says

    May 17, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Great conversation Kimba. It's funny because the Avatar I created for my target audience and the stats at Alexa agree that the core audience for my personal growth blog are women 45 – 54. Thing is, I have as many men subscribing to my blog as women! It's a fascinating subject, especially as I am counting down the days to launching a new blog. Again, I've created my audience Avatar, so it's going to be interesting to see what happens. 🙂

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 3:29 pm

      Marty, I am sure that your new blog will be a fabulous reflection of you – and that both men and women will enjoy it.  Can't wait – let me know when it launches, OK?

  5. Michele Lewis says

    May 17, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    First, I second Suzanne Michelle. I was going to say similar myself.

    Second, I second Louise Edington. I don't like shopping. For me make-up is a once I found the way I liked it, my interest in the subject went out the door. I also agree that the energy in your post may have created the change. 

    Third, I liked other comments too. 🙂

     

    Really, I get why we are told to write to our audience. Yet wouldn't my audience want what I would write off of inspiration anyway? I created my ideal based off of what I love to talk about and how I felt inspired.

    As for stereo types. Some things I can be very "girly" about. I know full well that many of my friends aren't stereotypical! Thank goodness they are being their unique selvse! I have one girl friend that is an auto mechanic and yet very feminine in other ways as she raises her 5 kids.

    It really bugs me how we as a society in general often make so many judgments. It will be a fantastic day when we look at people as individuals. Each with unique interests, and experiences. Just because women have the same type of body parts doesn't mean we like the same things!

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 3:19 pm

      Well, here's how I feel about "write to your audience:" like you, I get it.  It would be pretty silly for me to write about something like tips for babysitting, or how to plant corn.  I just don't want women as an audience to be taken for granted or boxed in or expected to think or react a certain way.

      By the way, I'm looking for a good auto mechanic!  If your gal pal is in the greater DC area, could you DM her info to me? THX.

       

  6. Kathi says

    May 17, 2013 at 11:33 am

    Hi Kimba,

    Way to go girl! Doing your own testing is the only way to find out what your audience is interested in. The REAL experts tell us that all the time. Every time I do, I am surprised by the results.

    I think in your case, it IS the way you write. Your humorous approach to normal life occurances as well as those out of the ordinary ones that we all face at some point is what keeps us all coming back for more. Just remember Seinfeld did a kagillion seasons of shows, each based on a simple daily event but turned them into humorous parodies!

    Keep us laughing and you'll do fine!

    Kathi 

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Thx Kathi – will happliy continue to offer up a little humor when I can.  Remindme  to tell you, next time I see you, about how I was this past week given a senior discount – that I didn't even ask for – DOH!! 

  7. Zen Shoemaker says

    May 17, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Kimba,

    Interesting what your male mentor considered to be what your target audience was interested in…vs. what you (a member of the target audience) felt your target audience was interested in, eh?

    I've become aware of how often female stereotypes (negative ones) are used.  And the trend is increasing at an alarming rate.

    I think we've got to, even to those we respect and love, challenge the stereotype, gently and firmly if it fits and with strength and a loud voice if necessary.

    'Cause while I might not be interested in an engine, I certainly would be interested in why there are wars EVER – or business mentoring – or strength training as well as what colors in my home energize fun in my bedroom!

    P.S. (It's purple, right?!)  🙂

     

     

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      Purple, really?  I may just have to do a little shopping this weekend….

      The nasty female stereotypes are the ones that I think are the most damaging; I agree with you that it's sometimes very difficult to turn the direction of a conversation once it has gone over the sexist cliff.

  8. Elizabeth Horlemann says

    May 17, 2013 at 9:11 am

    Hi Kimba,

    This has been an eye opener for me. Thanks for sharing

  9. Louise Edington says

    May 17, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Focus on only shopping and kids and I shall never read you again! Only joking. I do not enjoy shopping, find make-up and that sort of talk dull. What I like about your writing is how you write. You could be writing about a paper bag if you find it fascinating. I think your stats went down because you were only writing to see what happened and you weren't really 'into' your post. I think he's wrong in a nutshell. 

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 3:05 pm

      Louise, the funny thing is that I DO become attached to my cars (hold on to them for 10 or more years) and I DO like shopping – bargain shopping.  I just don't like to be put in a box that is lableled – "only cares about X".  I happen to be a rabid football fanatic, love Die Hard and Jackie Chan movies, and am a pretty good poker player – none of which are stereotypically feminine.  But I also like to play in my sun garden, am a sucker for memes that include babies, and am fairly obsessed with George Clooney.  At my age, I'm just not willing to act as expected….

       

  10. Suzanne Michelle says

    May 17, 2013 at 9:05 am

    I have to admit, I get really discouraged when "experts" tell me I have to strategize my creativity.  It's like telling me to have sex from a how-to book.  The flow and inspiration goes right out the window.  I say, write about what turns us on and if that fails, then we really aren't in the right business and maybe we should just keep our hobby a hobby and not do it as a business.

    • Kim Dalferes says

      May 17, 2013 at 2:53 pm

      LMAO – love your reference Suzanne to a sex by the numbers book.

      It's always a bit difficult, at least for me, to marry the creative with the business. 

Hello!

Author photo #2 in colorI hope you enjoy your time here and that you come back often. Wondering what makes me tick? This favorite quote from one of the grand dames of writing, Erma Bombeck, might help: Hook 'em with the lead. Hold 'em with laughter. Exit with a quip they won't forget. This seems to be a good overall life goal, don’t you think?

Hello!

Author photo #2 in colorWelcome to The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats,  the blog of Kimba Dalferes: slayer of king salmon, estate sale junkie, sometimes writes books.
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Beaches, Bathrooms, and Books!

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Kim Dalferes’ Latest Book…

Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle

Humor writer Kimberly “Kimba” Dalferes dishes on a wide variety of topics–from days of her youth spent blissfully on the shores of Florida’s beaches to menopause and empty nests–in her nonfiction collection Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle. In both titles: I Was In Love With a Short Man Once and Magic Fishing Panties, Dalferes’ crazy Southern Irish gal perspective inspires her illustrations of life’s quirky twists and turns. Together, these books offer descriptive and colorful essays on subjects such as getting a tattoo in midlife, unique uses for kitty litter, handling a rabid bat, public speaking gone wrong, and naked hot-tubbing in Vegas. Dalferes skillfully weaves what at first glance may appear to be dissimilar themes into a tapestry that invokes her life’s motto: live out loud, laugh often, and ‘occasionally’ drink tequila. Now available through Amazon Kindle.

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