The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has noted that, on average, my life expectancy is currently about 79 years (Centers for Disease Control). You might be wondering “where you going with this Kimba?” Well, when I read this it got me to thinking – according to the CDC, I hit middle-aged about a decade ago, right? If middle-aged is indeed the chronological mid-point of our lives, then I reached middle-aged status around age 39.
Really?
What does middle-aged mean to most of us, aside from the age countdown? The term can be accompanied with a bit of a drab visual: old; boring; tired; frumpy; maybe even a bit sad. That’s certainly not how I’ve thought of myself during these past ten years. However, as I now approach the mid-century mark, there are a few life moments and realities that I’ve experienced and, I must admit, are beginning to place me firmly in middle-aged territory.
To borrow from the great Jeff Foxworthy and his famous You Might Be a Redneck If… musings, below are my top ten You Might Be Middle-Aged If… observations:
- You’ve become genuine friends with your kids and you actually ask them for advice.
- Your hair is getting thinner everywhere except on your legs – and where the hell did my eyebrows go?
- You’ve ever taken off your bra and it’s like an airbag has deployed.
- You’ve ever walked into a room and can’t for the life of you remember why.
- You now leave ‘readers’ all over the house because that damn print has suddenly gotten SO tiny.
- You’ve ever taken to blaming the little people for stealing all the things you can’t find (I sure wish they would return that Gap gift card).
- You’ve ever started a sentence with “Back when I was in school…”
- You think Ryan Reynolds is hot and this might make you a cougar and you don’t care.
- You’ve ever been called a cougar.
- You’ve been best friends with someone for over thirty-five years and she still thinks your jokes are funny – Happy Birthday Dani!
How about you my fellow middle-aged brothers and sisters – how do you feel about this life milestone? I believe I’m starting to embrace the whole “age and experience over youth and exuberance” philosophy. The ‘ol gal staring back at me in the mirror every morning still has a bit of a twinkle in her eye, even if those eyes now have crow’s feet. The view from the middle-aged cheap seats sure is interesting, don’t you think?
Cheers,
Kimba
To quote an old joke, "My get up and go has got up and left." I'm leaving middle age and heading into the old geezer stage.
My husband told me that women will never be equal to men until they can do the following:
Walk your middle-aged self down the street with no makeup, a balding head and beer gut, and still think you're hot as hell.
Love your post! 🙂
LOL Diane, God love men – they sure do make us smile most days. Just stopped by your blog – keep up the good work, this Virgo loved your pie chart.
This is all soooo true! And don’t forget our new best friend – moisturizer!!
Don't you wish they had tanning lotion with moisturizer about 35 years ago??
Okay…I didn't cry…but I must be REALLY old. Whover invented those terms.."middle age" & "old age" anyway? I found 50 rather fascinating, time to really take charge of your finances & health & plan to enjoy your approaching retirement…get those bucket lists mapped out! You have a year to go…enjoy every minute..I know you will continue to do so! LuvU
Honey, you know I'm a Virgo – I've had a bucket list since I was 12 yrs old! You are my perfect role model for how to do retirement right!
Visiting from Writers Digest. Apparently, I'll be living to 126, because I still think of myself as middle-aged. Unless it involved a perk of some sort, then I'm all about being an old fart. I really hit my stride when I turned forty, so when I turned 60 I just declared it the new forty. It's working out pretty well.
Happy to have found you, Kim.
Thx for the comment and coming over for a visit from WD – I love the whole sixty is the new forty, who cares about age philosophy.
I have read where some youngsters ask, "Who was Ike?" Now I want to ask, "WHO the heck is Ryan Reynolds?"
Whatever I learn comes from BOOKS! YAY!
Thanks for another laugh! I try to collect them.
Lura
Hey Lura. at least we're not at the point yet where they're asking "Who Was Kennedy?" Thanks for the smile.