It’s become a time honored tradition, up here in the Middle-Aged Cheap Seats, to kick up our feet toward the end of every February, cocktail in one hand and popcorn in the other, and tune in for a favorite annual event: the Academy Awards, or as they are also known as, The Oscars. I host a fun little virtual viewing party over on Facebook: our gaggle of movie geeks and nerds slog through 3 to 4 hours of what can be some of the best, and worst, entertainment for the masses.
Do you also like to watch?
It’s not always unicorns and rainbows. This year’s other award presentations, leading up to this grand poohbah of award shows, have been a bit of a snore-fest. No drunken-at-the-mic train wrecks, no big upset surprises, no wardrobe malfunctions. However, Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this coming Sunday, so I gotta believe that some real gaspers and a few Oh no, he did NOT just say that zingers are in our near future.
Being that I’ve become a bit of a connoisseur of the whole award show season, I offer as follows a few tips for this 2016 class of nominees.
Kimba’s Award Season Best Practices
Be Prepared. Come on people, you are trained actors. Don’t try to convince the world that you had no idea you were going to win or that you didn’t write a speech or that it’s just so unexpected.
Image provided courtesy of Flickr Commons (no known copyright restrictions): https://goo.gl/L0goKM
Really?! Cuz you were sitting in a big ‘ol fancy room with a bunch of other actors and Hollywood types who all seemed to be cued in that you had a shot. Don’t tell me that you haven’t practiced your speech. Every person on the planet has practiced their I want to thank… speech. Be prepared, write a speech, and if you have to read it, so be it. But honestly, we expect better.
Take Some Pointers from the Brits. The Brits do it right. They prepare for their acceptance speeches. They don’t thank a litany of people who may be important to them, but mean diddly-squat to the viewing public. The Brits are funny, witty, and know how to work a crowd. David Niven set the bar high when he famously handled a streaker during the 46th Academy Awards back in 1974.
Provided courtesy of YouTube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IIl3zSYL8k
The Brits have continued to keep it classy and fun ever since.
Make Us Fall In Love. For the past two years I’ve been in the throes of a serious girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence. She’s feisty and a klutz and swears like a sailor and I just love her. I’ve been waiting for someone to step up and steal the crush trophy and this coming Sunday it could very well go to Sylvester Stallone cuz I just want him to go out swinging, ya know? However, my gal Jennifer is going to be in the room as well, so ya never know. No matter what, I’m sure she will look beautiful, and trip over something.
Someone Please Bring George. For the love of all that is good and holy, someone please bring Mr. Clooney with you to the festivities. He’s recently been making the promo rounds for his new movie “Hail Caesar” so I know he needs the face time. Do us all a solid, get George to put on the tux, and drag him with you to the red carpet. We’ve missed seeing him out and about this last year or so.
I don’t know about you, but I have my Oscar ballot all filled out and I’m ready for the show to begin. I’m pulling for Leo for best actor (who isn’t) as well as Jennifer Jason Leigh to win best supporting actress (because she’s awesome, she’s 54 years old – go midlifers! and she deserves to win for her performance in The Hateful Eight).
Will you be watching on Sunday night? Who are you hoping will win an Oscar?