I’ve been thinking a lot lately about comfort. There are certainly creature comforts: a plush cushy bed or a soft sweater on a cold day. But I’ve found myself wondering more about the actual giving and receiving of emotional comfort. I’ve been pondering all of this because our family recently suffered a terrible loss: the sudden death of a dear friend. At the times when we need it most, how do we support and care for each other? What comforts do we seek?
I recently read a lovely post by one of my favorite sources of inspiration, Tonya Sheridan, entitled: "Would You Care to Join Me for a Cup of Tea?" Tonya beautifully describes the act of making tea and the power of a simple gesture. I appreciate these particular words of wisdom from her: The ritual of putting on the kettle, pouring the tea, and sipping the comforting liquid creates an inner calm that helps me to see life from a different perspective.
For many of us, foods and the memories associated with those foods often bring comfort. My own oddball comfort foods include:
- Potato salad with no eggs (because that’s how my Mom always makes it special just for me);
- Barbecued Fritos (because I only allow myself to indulge when I’m really down or on a road trip); and,
- Salmon loaf, which was one of my Grandmother’s favorite things to make (even if most of the family didn’t like it).
There is also one very special comforting symbol that seems to manifest in my life at just the right moments: the bicentennial quarter.
My Grumps left this world in June 1976. He just missed the 200th celebration of our independence. I don’t know exactly when, but somewhere along my path I started to collect bicentennial quarters because they always remind me of my Grumps and what a wonderful, loving presence he was in my life. These quarters have become increasingly scarce as the years have gone by; finding one now is always a surprise and comfort.
Two weeks ago I was trying in every way to provide encouragement and assistance to the family of the dear friend we had lost. As friends, family, and neighbors gathered at their home to offer help, I volunteered to make a lunch run for sandwiches and sodas. I placed the order and as I waited my mind wandered over the sadness of our loss of such a special person. As I absentmindedly paid for the sandwiches, there in the change being handed to me across the counter was a worn bicentennial quarter. It had been at least a year since I had seen one in circulation. In that unforeseen moment, as I stared at the cashier’s out-stretched hand, I was comforted by this tiny sign from the universe.
Our comforts may come to us in unexpected ways: a bag of Fritos, a cup of tea, or a small worn quarter. Do you have a source of support that holds you up when you need a little reassurance? Well, if you ever need to borrow a quarter, just let me know.
Cheers,
Kimba
Jean O'Neil says
July 7, 2012 at 1:43 amKim – those quarters reminded me of what a long-time friend told me when we lost a very dear member of our "gang" — that every time I saw a bird feather on the ground, it was a sign from our friend (one of those folks you KNOW is heaven-bound) that he was looking out for those of us still here on Planet Earth. To this day, I can't help but thinking about our wonderful friend every time I see a spare bird feather on the ground. All the best —
jeanie o'neil
Kim D says
July 7, 2012 at 10:29 amJeannie, what a great sentiment. I will now always think of you when i find a bird feather.
Tracy says
July 2, 2012 at 1:16 pmIsn't it funny what comforts you? I need a cup of tea and a book to leave the world for a few hours to get comfort. Especially when stricken with an unexpected loss of someone you love. Strength to you during this difficult time.
Kim D says
July 2, 2012 at 2:41 pmThank you for your thoughts Tracy. And you're absolutely right: losing myself in a book for a few hours always helps me get my balance back.
Jacs Henderson says
June 30, 2012 at 10:19 pmwhat a moving story Kimba – looks like you Grumps came back to cheer you đ
Jacs
Kim D says
July 1, 2012 at 7:43 pmThanks Jacs. Indeed, Grumps sure seems to look out for me.
Vanessa Van Horn says
June 29, 2012 at 9:23 pmLove your blog, so pretty. And yes, life is about enjoying the simple pleasures!! Keep Shining!
Kim D says
June 29, 2012 at 9:26 pmThanks Vanessa, wishing you a weekend filled with bright shiny pennies.
Maria says
June 29, 2012 at 1:17 pmOdd when I started reading this I thought of my quarters and then there was your story! how cool. :o)
Kim D says
June 29, 2012 at 5:12 pmMaria, don't you think the universe sure can work in mysterious ways?
Jean says
June 29, 2012 at 12:57 pmI am so sorry for your loss and so glad that you were give a bicentential quarter that afternoon!
Its funny some of the things that bring me comfort. I too am a tea drinker, usually for the caffeine but I treasure the times I can just sit down and wrap my hands around the cup and just enjoy it for what it is!
What brings me great comfort is sitting alone, after I've read my Bible and just soaking up all the love God has for me.
Really enjoyed this post!
Jean
30 Days of Gratitude Challenge
https://www.socgratitude.com/32934
Elizabeth says
June 29, 2012 at 12:41 pmHi Kimberly,
The loss of loved ones always leaves us sad and wondering how to deal with the loss. It reminds me that of what my late grandmother always told us "death looks different when its knocking on your door". We can pass our sincere sympathy but we are not involved as you and your friends family are.
Kim Dalferes says
June 29, 2012 at 12:59 pmThanks for your kind words Elizabeth. Sincerely appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Monna Ellithorpe says
June 29, 2012 at 10:36 amHi Kimberly,
I am so sorry for your loss, you have my deepest sympathy.
I did enjoy reading the post about the different "comforts" that people have or find for themselves in different situations.
The quarters prompt a "comfort" for me too. My husband who has been gone 4 years in August; he used to take our grandson out to ride on his Hot Wheels bike and when he wasn't looking, my husband would toss coins out in front of him on the ground for him to find.
So since my husband has been gone, whenever I find a coin on the ground, I see it as a message that my husband is sending to me or letting me know he is still with me. It seems to happen when I am down or having a rough time and need the beautiful reminder from the love of my life.
Thank you, Monna
Kim Dalferes says
June 29, 2012 at 12:58 pmMonna, love that you are staying connected with your husband and his memory. I am sure he smiles every time you pick up a penny or a dime.
Nathalie Villeneuve says
June 29, 2012 at 9:38 amWhat a wonderful and uplifting peace of content Kimberly. You have a beautiful mind and one get's lost in your story telling. You inspired me today. I am so happy for you that you received this little sign from the Universe at a moment when it mattered most. I can't just imagine your face when you saw the little coin land in your hand. Great share! Thank you đ
Kim D says
June 29, 2012 at 10:32 amThanks Nathalie AKA "Guru" :-). You ever need a quarter just give me a call.
Christy Abram says
June 29, 2012 at 9:12 amVery nice! We all have comforts. I've found that mine is a fluffy blanket and a nap. I find, much like when I were a child, a nap always makes me feel better when I'm cranky. đ
Thank you for sharing!
Christy
Kim D says
June 29, 2012 at 10:30 amNaps are wonderful! I think the countries that have siesta time in the middle of the day SO have it right.