It happens at the beginning of each summer. Right about the time we’ve perfected our routine, established a rapport with the instructors, and staked our claim to our preferred spot in the room, they swarm in and wreak havoc upon our community.
Image provided courtesy of Pixabay, http://pixabay.com/en/fish-sea-ocean-fish-swarm-22646/
I am of course describing the coeds who invade the gym and our exercise classes each summer when they return home from college.
We middle-aged gals have been working diligently since January, trying with all our being to slow the gravitational pull causing our girls to race toward our knees. In the middle-aged cheap seats, it’s mostly about maintenance and prevention – yeah, preventing our asses from spreading! Oh, and it’s also of course about health–gotta keep the joints moving and the muscles strong.
The coeds do not understand this, and why should they? They’re in their prime. A diet for them means a six inch sub in lieu of the large 12 incher (easy gals, I know where this discussion of inches can go if we’re not careful…). I certainly don’t want to declare war against this next generation of women and I applaud them for their commitment to exercising those young bods of theirs. However, I would like to establish a few ground rules.
- Stay out of my spot. It’s taken us midlifers nearly six months through a long winter to work out our preferred locations in the weight training class. Show a little respect and head to the front – none of us wants to be in the front.
http://www.quickmeme.com/
- Wear a shirt. Exercising in a sports bra sans a shirt is not acceptable. We get it, your girls are still your friends. Good for you. Now cover them up. It can be a tank top, but it needs to be some kind of shirt. We’ve discussed this behind your backs, counter measures could include our removing our shirts as well – no one wants to see this.
- Move it along. We’re not at the gym to flirt. At our age, ain’t no one got time for that. Listen, we’re not begrudging you the chance to chat up the hot guy on the abs machine – go for it! But please get off the equipment and take the conversation over to the power smoothie bar. By the way, that hunk in the orange shirt over to the left is my neighbor’s son. He’s a wonderful young man with a bright future in plastics, you’re gonna wanna put in some effort, trust me.
- No complaining in the locker room. Uttering the words “I think these size six shorts make me look fat” will get you locked in the toilet stall.
- Have the decency to make it look a little difficult. As I’m huffing and puffing on the treadmill next to you, have the courtesy to sweat just a little bit as you sprint to the end of your five mile program.
Maybe this all sounds a tad pitiful and jaded and jealousy-ridden. Yeah, well, so be it. But hey, you’re in my spot.
Where do you work out? Any midlife exercising tips you’d like to share?
Cheers,
Kimba
Lisa @ Tweenior Moments says
September 25, 2015 at 7:50 pmGreat post, Kim! Isn’t it funny how territorial we get? Actually, it’s the same scenario at church, where you practically get the holy stink-eye from someone if you sit in “their” pew.
Kim Dalferes says
October 2, 2015 at 11:21 amThat is SO funny! My family always sat in the same pew in church – and I’m just now recalling how we definitely considered that “our” church row!
kathykate says
May 22, 2015 at 11:56 amAt the gym 5/6 outta 7 days a week; and I’m completely invisible. My daughter returns home from college; comes w me to the gym, and suddenly, I have friends jockeying for my attention. Or perhaps, could it be, not mine … ?
Kimba says
May 27, 2015 at 9:41 amKate, I am sure it’s your pecs & biceps.
Lois Alter Mark says
May 18, 2015 at 7:19 pmToo funny – and true! Once I found my perfect spot in Jazzercise, there was no way I was letting anyone else take it!
Kimba says
May 21, 2015 at 8:39 amI know, right?! For my weight training class we have to set up weights and benches – I stake out my spot early just to make sure no one else tries to set up there. I might be a little weird about this…
Ines Roe says
May 18, 2015 at 7:18 pmSo funny – really made me laugh. Made ma also appreciate my exercise spot. I am lucky enough to workout at a Pilates studio with a group of women my own age. We enjoy each others company and are able to workout together led by a wonderful same age gentleman trainer that tailors our workout routines to our individual needs. I didn’t realize just how lucky I am.
Kimba says
May 21, 2015 at 8:41 amYou are lucky indeed. I’ve just added a yoga class to my exercise routine, and I have to respect the mat placement, I’m currently relegated to a space near the corner – hey, I respect the primo-spot pecking order!
Doreen McGettigan says
May 18, 2015 at 4:19 pmThis is hysterical and the exact reason I no longer go to the gym. I even tried taking a senior class and the ‘older women’ were so catty, I was stunned. I exercise at home along with DVD’s. I procrastinated for too long but I now try to stick to my routine and it is getting easier. I seem to have so much more time too.
Great post:)
Kimba says
May 21, 2015 at 8:43 amI have such a difficult time being disciplined enough to exercise at home. There’s always something that gets in the way. I find I need to not only go to the gym but also participate in group classes in order to stay motivated. Yeah, I’m easily distracted.
Tam Warner Minton says
May 18, 2015 at 2:11 pmThanks for sharing! Tell those young ones to take the front and mirrors! I don’t work in a gym though, but a yoga and pilates studio. These places are very accepting and I almost never feel bad about myself. Almost.
Kimba says
May 21, 2015 at 8:44 amAbsolutely! Up front and center for all the young ‘uns.
Carol Cassara says
May 18, 2015 at 12:47 pmI’m laughing my ass off at this. well, not literally. although i wish it were.
Kim Dalferes says
May 18, 2015 at 12:58 pmWouldn’t that be awesome, if we actually COULD laugh our asses off?! The “LMAO Exercise Routine”, brought to you by Carol & Kimba.
Betty Eitner says
May 16, 2015 at 9:50 amIf I ever finally make it to the gym, I better remember these….
Kimba says
May 18, 2015 at 11:44 amLOL Betty, I’m betting you can handle yourself in the gym just fine.
Suzie Cheel says
May 15, 2015 at 10:05 pmMine is a beach walk, swim ( i might even swim through winter this year ) may be an after dinner walk with weights, but no gym for me, no longer appeals- maybe yoga or pilates is next for me. Love your humor thank you
Kimba says
May 18, 2015 at 11:46 amHey Suzie, I just added a gentle yoga class to my exercise routine – love it!
Karen Putz (@AgelessPassions) says
May 15, 2015 at 3:41 pmLOL, move over! I enjoyed the humor here!
Kimba says
May 18, 2015 at 11:58 amMove over – exactly! I need an Ello water bottle for the gym, BTW, just sayin…
Diane says
May 15, 2015 at 12:10 pmMy exercise routine has morphed over the years. From aerobics to running to swimming to cycling. Whatever I can do that won’t make my joints hurt. Sigh. When I see those young girls prancing along effortlessly, without even breaking a sweat, I want to do some damage. Preferably somewhere that will show.
Kim Dalferes says
May 18, 2015 at 12:00 pmI feel ya Diane. Just remember, age and experience and youth and exuberance, right? 🙂
Hubs says
May 15, 2015 at 11:05 amIs this why I’m getting chatted up so much more now at the gym ??? 🙂
Kim Dalferes says
May 18, 2015 at 12:21 pmOh yes dear, that is absolutely correct…. said no wife ever. 🙂
Nancy Roman says
May 15, 2015 at 9:17 amHahaha! I HATE when someone takes my spot! Especially in Zumba… I can only follow the teacher from the right side in exactly the spot that is MINE. I wrote about that last year: https://notquiteold.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/smug-has-a-short-lifespan/
Kim Dalferes says
May 18, 2015 at 12:22 pmI know! If I’m not in the same spot for every class I absolutely cannot sync up.
Marquita Herald says
May 15, 2015 at 8:47 amAh the memories! I used to hit the gym early every morning until I had a rather unpleasant experience with one of the ‘guys’ trying to join me in the shower. These days I walk and exercise at home, but I can still relate to what you’re describing because I walk right past the YMCA and see the gals at the pool in their itsy bitsy swimsuits so yea, I’m all for the cover up.
Kim Dalferes says
May 18, 2015 at 12:29 pmAYFKM?! He actually followed you into the shower?! ANd thank God our gym does not have a pool, I don’t think I could bear the bare…
Astra Groskaufmanis says
May 15, 2015 at 8:27 amOh! Oh! Oh! You’ve just stumbled upon one of my biggest pet peeves! I happen to be living with one at this very moment (albeit, male) and have one more to add: when he takes the car to the gym 10 minutes before you had planned to go! Grrrrrrr.
Kim Dalferes says
May 18, 2015 at 12:53 pmOh, ho, ho, I remember those days. Hang in there sister,
Kathleen O'Keefe-Kanvos says
May 15, 2015 at 8:07 amKimba, I love your writing sense of humor. I was right there in the gym with you watching them check out their “friends” in the mirror. LOL! Stand in your power and speak your truth and MIND. I shared this to 5 of my sites.
Kim Dalferes says
May 18, 2015 at 12:56 pmThx for the sharing! Oh, I forgot about the checking-out-in-the-mirror stuff. I avoid this like the plague, I don’t need to see my backside in multi-mirror splendor. To re-emphasize, the coeds can have the front row, please take it – it allows me to hide out in the back with the added bene that they block the mirrors!