Well folks, the election is finally over and we have our next elected leader. I’m not going to add to the massive collective gestalt regarding this upcoming presidency. Our Facebook pages, Twitter feeds, and blog posts are clogged with commentary and I’ve seen one too many friendships come to blows over the election outcome. Please know that I’m in no way trying to be dismissive or disrespectful of anyone’s beliefs, attitudes, concerns, or fears. And, of course I have my opinions – I’m Irish, having an opinion is embedded in my DNA. However, there are people out there much smarter than moi who can intelligently articulate the ramifications of proposed policy shifts, programmatic funding priorities, and presidential appointments.
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However, I am intrigued by, and willing to comment on, how Mr. Trump communicates. His style is, um, interesting. He does get his points across in a very distinct way. Sitting up here in the Middle-Aged Cheap Seats, I’ve found myself pondering: what would it be like if we all tweeted in the same manner as the President-elect?
What would it be like if we all tweeted in the same manner as the President-elect? #WWDT Click To Tweet
Here are a few examples of how my tweets might be written if I emulated Mr. Trump’s 140 character or less communications.
“These Spanx don’t make me look like a size four! I should sue, oh I could sue, believe me, I would win, bigly.” #WWDT
“A one-star review! Very unfair, so unfair, what a nasty reviewer.” #WWDT
“I’ve been treated very unfairly by God. Size 11 feet, so unfair. I really deserve an apology.” #WWDT
“Just left the gym. What a fantastic workout. My trainer is going to make my thighs great again!” #WWDTJust left the gym. What a fantastic workout. My trainer is going to make my thighs great again!”… Click To Tweet
“I’m going to build a NYT best seller. Believe me, it’s going to be huge. And we’ll make Barnes & Noble pay for it.” #WWDT
“I know more about eggs than farmers do. We’re going to get the eggs. Such nasty things. Believe, me, they’re going to be gone.” #WWDT
“Of course I’ll release my novel first draft. Just as soon as my beta readers are finished. Sorry, that’s the law, not my fault.” #WWDT
“Nobody respects the Gators more than I do. I guarantee it.” Yeah, sorry, I really can’t write this one with a straight face. #GONOLES #WWDT
A final thought and a little unsolicited advice for the President-elect. For what it’s worth (which, admittedly, ain’t much), dude, you gotta learn to roll with it a bit. Get a thicker skin. You’re going to be President of the United States. I’m suggesting that maybe you worry about some issues a little more pressing than whether or not a group of Broadway actors was nice to your VP. You know, things like the economy and jobs, crime, public education, college affordability, national security, re-building our infrastructure – you kinda have a full plate. It might be a good idea to set some priorities and lay off the Twitter a bit. Just sayin.