Kimberly Dalferes | Author

Crazy, Southern, Irish Gal, Author

Mystery Solved: Why Women are Late

by

A guy friend – not Hubs – recently lamented: Why are women ALWAYS late??

Oh, this is an easy one; I got this.

watch pic with text

When men leave the house each morning:

  1. The TV is on – in every room.
  2. Yesterday’s clothes are on the floor.
  3. Dirty dishes are in the sink.
  4. The kitty litter box is over-flowing.
  5. The kids are still in bed.

kid in bed

photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/thelotuscarroll/9810243124/”>Lotus Carroll</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a> 

  1. Though he probably takes a shower – the shaving is optional.
  2. He grabs the first pair of pants in the closet that aren’t on the floor.
  3. He will make a pit stop at McDonalds for breakfast.

When women leave the house each morning:

  1. The dog has been walked, fed, and groomed.
  2. All electronics are off and unplugged.
  3. Tonight’s dinner is in the crock pot.
  4. The laundry is done, folded, and put away.
  5. The kitchen is spotless, de-sanitized and fresh flowers are on the counter.

woman in sink

photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/sierragoddess/10678757966/”>sierragoddess</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>

  1. She’s showered, shaved her legs, washed, blow-dried and styled her hair, put on make-up and gone through five outfits before she’s decided what to wear.
  2. The kids are up, dressed, fed, had their backpacks checked (twice), and are out the door to wait for the school bus. By the way, Mom doesn’t leave the neighborhood until she sees the bus drive by.
  3. She’s made a protein smoothie to take with her on the commute.

There you have it; this is why women are always late. Any questions?

Response from guy friend: can I buy the next round?

Why yes, yes you can.  

“Dilbert Always Late” – YouTube

 

How about you: do you experience situations where men and women approach things very differently? Any fun coping techniques that can help out the sisterhood?

Cheers,

Kimba

Comments

  1. So true! I loved this! Just goes to show how different men & women think. Although, I am usually the one waiting on my hubby. 🙂

    • Yeo, me too – the Hubs is notoriously late. If he doesn’t go back into the house at least three times for things he’s forgotten, it’s a miracle.

    • I know, right? I just realized that I forgot to empty the coffee pot (though it is turned off) at the lake house. Going to be SO gross when we get back next weekend! If I had just gone back in one more time….

  4. Totally right on! And you could add that he gets to be Mr. Nice Guy too. Oh and we make it to our first appt all sweaty.

    • Oh that is SO the best part – when Hubs does one thing – just ONE thing – and the Bells of St Mary’s are supposed to ring with joyous celebration.

  6. So funny!!! It’s not true in my case, I am a distaster in organizing, but since I work from home now I can hide it 😉

    • I work from home too – but still struggle with everything needing to be tucked away before I leave the house. Working on a healthy balance, working on it….

    • So many of my gal pals seem to be able to get it all done AND be on time. Do you have a special “Bewitched” skill? Maybe I need to learn to wrinkle up my nose more…

    • To be honest, I’m usually on time – Hubs is the tardy one. I had a boss who was ALWAYS late and staff thought it was because she just wanted to make an entrance. She had no idea how badly her tardiness reflected on her as a person. That has always stuck with me – I don’t want people to ever think I don’t value or respect them.

  11. I used to be chronically early. Now, not so much. I seem to be inept at gauging the amount of time I have to get ready.

    • I SO used to be much better at time management when I was younger. Now I seem to always think I have at least 15 minutes more than I do AND it seems to take twice as long to get ready – what is that all about??

  12. I am neurotically and annoyingly 5 to 6 minutes early for everything! I wonder why so many who commented here are chronically early? Maybe a blogger thing?

    • Maybe it IS a blogger thing! Maybe since we have to pay attention to blogging and posting schedules we are used to being on time/schedule/a calendar. Interesting…

  13. never late, just a very efficient multitasked…

    another situation where men and women approach things differently: As I begin to go through 25+ years of stuff in preparation for our big move south, I find things that I asked hubby to dispose of years ago. He never did, he just moved them to a different closet or corner of the garage. Now I don’t ask, I just take them to the dump before he has a chance to relocate them again… The only things relocating to Florida are Hubby, 5 dogs and me…..

    • Oh lawdy Didi, don’t even get me started on Hubs and his pack rat ways. I do not envy you at the moment. I know that I’ll be facing that process down the road and I see many trips to the dump in my future.

  14. I have being on time in my DNA. But I skip about half of what other women do (which is why I don’t invite people to my home during daylight hours).

  15. Kimba, that had me rolling on the floor laughing…I’ll remember those points if I have the finger pointed at me!!
    It’s usually the hubby I’m waiting for, having completed all my tasks…
    and I’m sure you’re never late!
    Jacs

  17. I always try to be at least on time if not early but all of the above are the reasons why I am always exhausted!
    My husband always ask, how long til you are ready. If I say 10 minutes he says see you in an hour. Perfect!

  18. When I first met my soon-to-be husband, I told him it takes me 40 minutes to get ready – from shower to shoes. So, he knew in advance. Now he’s surprised if it takes a shorter or longer time. I do that just to keep the mystery alive.

  19. I’ve known more than a few people who were chronically late, both men and women, but I’ve always had a thing about being on time (if not early). In fact anyone who’s ever attended one of my workshops knows I have my own way of “welcoming” late-comers to my meetings. Usually only happens once. Which is probably why no one’s ever made a crack at or near me about “Why are women always late.”

    • I had a professor in college that had a rule – if you were late to his class you had to offer a very intriguing excuse in order to be allowed to take your seat. I only had to do that once… lesson learned.

  21. Ah, but I am never late… and I STILL take care of all that before leaving (well, except the leg-shaving, to be honest). On top of all that I do, I must yell and yell and yell up the stairs to my husband to ask if he’s “just about ready?” Gah!

    Cute post!

Random Kimba Musings

Upcoming Events

"Bringing Your Book to the World: Book Launches, Signings, and Publicity", 2017 Virginia Writers Club Symposium, Charlottesville, VA, Saturday, August 5, 2017 http://www.virginiawritersclub.org/event-2484727

MORE INFO COMING SOON - Bridgewater Plaza Fall Festival, Saturday, October 14, 2017, Moneta, VA

"What's Creative About Nonfiction?", Reston Regional Library, Fairfax, VA, Monday, November 13, 2017, 7:00 p.m. http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/library/branches/rr/